samedi 2 décembre 2017

The power of the balloon

Since 3 or 4 years, each december, I'm crashing at least one holiday party to which I'm not invited.

I go there with a friend. We dress well and we go to the biggest reception halls in the city to infiltrate some big corporate event and try to dance and talk with employees like we were colleagues.

When people ask in which department you work, that's the tricky part: you have to imagine something vague but precise enough to look credible. Small talk is the best thing to avoid pitfalls.

Friday night, we've been to a big insurance company event. The kind of event where there's about 1000 people invited, so it's easy to be incognito. The party wasn't wild enough for us so we stayed there for only about 30 minutes. But before leaving, I saw that there was a lot of big balloons in the place and many people left the party with a balloon. So I took one and we left.

I walked on the street with my big balloon (about 1 meter tall) floating 3 meters above me. Everybody was looking at us. I felt like I was some fucking celebrity. I felt invincible.

So, we went to another place, maybe 500 meters away and we penetrated in some dentists party. We went to the dance floor with my big balloon (which, this time, was the only balloon in the place). Here I am, putting the sandbag of my balloon in my back pocket, on the dancefloor with about 100 dental hygienists and dentists around me and my balloon, 3 meters above. I'm the superstar of the place, because nobody can stay indifferent towards such a big black balloon.

And, let's admit it, when you're a guy at such a party, everybody believes you're a dentist and you earn 350 000$ a year. So, a substantial part of the girls would probably like to fuck with you, even if you're not their kind of guy. I saw that strange look on the faces of many dental hygienists (interest not towards how you look but towards what you represent). But maybe it was just the power of the balloon. 

After about 2 hours, we decide to leave and go back to the first party. Sadly, the party is almost over and the place which included about 1000 people a few hours before is almost deserted. About 30 people are on the dancefloor and that's all. We talk with a few people, and we leave once again.

However, before leaving, I take with me the only big balloon that remains in the place. So, we now own two big balloons. We feel even more indestructible.

And we go back to the dentists party. And that party is almost over too.

Now, it's about 2 AM and we know that holiday partys are probably over everywhere. So we go to a bar. Because bars close at 3 AM in Quebec.

Once again, I take my balloon with me. I'm having it with me on the small dancefloor even if it's way too small for such a big balloon (20 people and the dancefloor is full) and the ceiling is way too low. But I don't care. Tonight, the balloon rules the world and has to be respected everywhere. Respect for the balloon.

I ask the barmaid for a sharpie pen to write on my balloon that it's my birthday party. After writing down a few words, Some people come to me, asking me to sign the balloon. And I ask some other people to sign the balloon. I end up with about 20 people signing the balloon.

At 2:40 AM, one of the waitress comes and ask me why I have this balloon. I tell her it's because it's my birthday. She tells me that I can have a free bottle of sparkling wine. And she doesn't ask for my ID. She just assume that the balloon is a valid proof of birthday.

So, I get my free bottle and share it with my friend and some people around.

Don't ever doubt about the power of appearances.  That balloon taken at some party and brought to other places brought joy, excitement and even fascination . The impact of the uniform and the appearances is a big weakness of human condition.
My golden balloon with some signatures.

2 commentaires:

  1. This social experiment is a lot funnier than mere words can express.
    Here's what one girl wrote on the big golden balloon: "We need more magic in the world. I'm counting on you" -sophie
    This is like the movie WEDDING CRASHERS brought to life. Many dental hygienists are still dreaming of Dr. Penetrator the charismatic dentist on the dance floor. LOL

  2. Probably! Not many dentitst are wild enough to dance with a big balloon.