dimanche 25 août 2019

An upper decker

I just come back from a very nice trip to Newfoundland. What a beautiful province. I have to admit that New-Brunswick has made serious damage to my opinion about Maritimes. That province is by far the worst place I've been in Canada.

But Newfoundland is beautiful. The landscape, the houses, the sea, even the churches have something special.

Anyway, I'm not at ease of writing more than 4 sentences of praise. That's not the mission of this website. So, here comes the shit.

I've been in a motel in the middle of nowhere, in the north of Newfoundland. The kind of motel that's in the middle of a forest where only truckers pass. But strangely, there was a big beach party in the bar of the hotel the night we were there. At 3:30 AM, people knocked on the door of our room asking for one of their drunk friend. They kept on knocking so I went opening in my underwear and, after I closed the door, some guys made comments about my balls ("Were they nice? Did you grab them?"). I was fucking mad, so I dressed up and I went to the office, telling them that I was mad and it was inacceptable that many drunk people knocked on random doors at such a time. The owner finally came, probably drunkier than all these 25 years-old customers coming out of nowhere. He said to me that he'd refund me for that night the next morning.

The next morning, he and one of his friends, both fucking drunk, came to see me at 7:30 AM in the morning while I was having breakfast. Both smelled like shit. They were standing at 30 cm from my face while I was eating my toast, their smell ruining my breakfast. They apologized and asked me what I wanted. I told them that I wanted a complete refund.

After 30 minutes of a bad-smelling and incoherent discussion with two newfies, I understood that I wouldn't get a refund because the owner "had no control about what happened in the motel the night before". What the fuck. Where's the notion of responsability here?

Anyway. Do you know about Upper Decker?

If no, you're a normal person. Because few people read about scatophilie on the Net. I don't, but I know some people who do, so I have access to privilegied information.

An upper decker is the action of defecating in the tank of a toilet, causing it to clog. Usually done as a mean-spirited prank.

I've never done that, but I've planned to do it for years. Not to some innocent. But to some bad people. I didn't do it in that hotel, but that's exactly the kind of place where an upper decker would be appropriate.

Now, you know that it exists too. You'll never forget that it's a possibility you have when no other option seems possibile. 

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