mercredi 1 décembre 2021

The false tragedy

Two weeks ago, after an appointment with the optometrist, I wrote with a broken heart that my daughter could become blind. That optometrist bitch told me that one of the optic nerves of my daughter had a bleeding and both optic nerves had something unusual. 

Back home, after a look on the Internet, I saw that these optic nerves couldn’t be operated and a damage could result in blindness. Then, I remembered the worried face of the optometrist and it made me worry that the worst case scenario could apply to my daughter.

I fell in the worst depression. I wanted to kill myself. Yeah. I know we’re not supposed to write or express that, because suicide is some kind of taboo. I never really wanted to die before, but I’ve realized that a very bad thing happening to one of my kids could make me want to hang myself. So, over the last two weeks, day after day, I said to myself that I would rather die than see my daughter become blind.

Yesterday, I had an appointment to the ophalmologist with my daughter. The doctor saw some things deserving a follow-up but nothing worrying. She didn’t see any bleeding. And she didn’t even see any bleeding on the pictures taken by the optometrist. False alarm. 

Then, I took a big breath. And I felt a bit stupid for wasting 2 weeks of my life, wanting to die, day after day. I could have made many joyful things and smile and dance. Fucking optometrist. 

I feel a bit bad for those people writing in the comment section, showing empathy. Well, let’s move on. Another problem will surely happen sooner or later, but for now, it’s OK.

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