jeudi 22 novembre 2018

Too young to die

I have to confess that if I have wide knowledges about a variety of things, it's because I've read a lot on the throne over the course of my life. I've even listen to some series like Game of Thrones while I was (funnily) on the throne.

But spending so much time in that wonderful environment may have consequences. Hemorroids for instance. And sometimes, hemorroids can bleed.

When you type "hemorroids and blood" on Google, you'll surely find some links about colorectal cancer. Actually, when you type almost any syndrom on Google, you'll find something about cancer. Cancer is everywhere: in little symptoms such as in big symptoms. You have a headache: you have brain cancer. You cough: you have lungs cancer.

So, even if there's been some blood going with my poo in the past (it was hemorroids and some doctor put me elastics to correct that problem), I've had some big concerns about it being a real cancer this time. I'm a little bit of a hypocondriac.

So, I went to see two different doctors over the last month. The first one was expeditive but was formal: it was hemorroids. The second went further. He touched my belly. And he even made the rectal touch to see if I had some mass in the rectum. He saw nothing worrying and he said to me that it was probably intern hemorroids that bleed. But I'll get a coloscopy (a tube with a camera in the ass) in a few months to see if everything is OK. Meanwhile, I'll take some stuff to soften my poo. And meanwhile, I still have pain in the ass, four days after receiving some fingers in it.

Learning things on the throne can be very interesting. But some problems may occur over time if you spend too much time there. When comes blood, then comes worrying and thoughts about your imminent death. What will your family do without you? Why having saved so much money while being on the edge of death? Why leaving this world halfway through? Why haven't done some "Breaking Bad" stuff before dying? Will there be some suffering before dying? Will it be fast? Will it be slow? How many people will spit on my grave? That's not funny at all.

If you want to talk about a similar experience, leave a comment or, better, come to Fynn's of temple bar in downtown Toronto next saturday at 8 PM (november 24th) to talk about that. I'm sure you all read my blog while you take a shit.

You're all guys and real guys only read while shitting.

7 commentaires:

  1. Unexplained Weight Loss?
    Fatigue and weakness (even when you rest up)?
    Abdominal cramps and feeling bloated (gonflé)?
    Change in bowel habits?
    If you’ve noticed your stool becoming thinner or a change in the frequency of bowel movements, it could be a sign of colorectal cancer.

    If you have the bleeding and none of these other symptoms listed above then it is probably just hemorrhoids. Cancer will really tax and stress your body.
    I am no doctor. You are doing the right thing going for a colonoscopy.
    You are also doing the right thing by making some changes to your diet.
    Eat more fiber. Eat less junk food. Drink a lot of water. Drink less pepsi and coca cola. LOL
    Your best investment is a can of CLARK BEANS WITH TOMATO SAUCE and many bottles of water. I know you would prefer beans in maple syrup. LOL. Stay hydrated and put much more fiber in your diet. You should be ok. The rest of your family will suffer horribly when you start farting like a jacuzzi after eating beans, but you will be ok.

  2. We'll party like it's your last this weekend


  4. Ce commentaire a été supprimé par l'auteur.

  5. Unfortunately, I lost my father last month to colorectal cancer at age 72. He was diagnosed 5 years ago when it was already spread, which was too late, so he had to deal with the disease symptoms and its chemotherapy side effects for the last few years. He was living with my mom, and carrying out his daily affairs independently though. Only a few months ago, things turned for the worse and he became bedridden.

    Anyways, the moral of the story is everybody with average risk should get a FOBT kit at age 50 and do a simple stool test every two years. Canada makes it very easy for people since they can do this test at home for free and send the test off by mail. Only if something suspicious is found, then colonoscopy is needed. And the chance of success at that point is more than 90% because it's caught early. I was a higher risk (family history), so I had to go straight to the colonoscopy stage.